Ch 11 con) CaptureBlackie and the others followed the Lieutenant along a narrow passageway down the side of the building. In the rear courtyard they had set up a makeshift barricade of vehicles parked in a curved line three deep. The troops had set up three plasma cannons and seven mounted assault guns. They had been firing continuously for 20 minutes and had cleared the area of enemy soldiers who had retreated some distance back. The wounded were left where they lay making pitiful whimpers for aid to their friends. The Furtopian's ammunition was running low and it was only a matter of time before the Eclipsians made another attack, perhaps supported by armoured tanks.
As somebody who is familiar with your work- I know who Blackie and the Furtopians are. And I have enjoyed their many comic adventures. And I applaud your branching out into prose. It really is a great medium to express emotions, actions , and events that drawing in comics can not quite encompass.
That said and not denigrating your efforts, I tried to think of how a first time reader would view your work. And I think the story would be greatly improved with a paragraph or two of describing the characters physically, and dwelling on the circumstances of their current adventure. I'd also love to know more about the Eclispsians.
But outside of that, I enjoyed your action sequences, the plot, and wisdom of Blackie in surrendering against impossible odds. I want to know what happens next- so please write more!